


Night Terrors

by lovekernel



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, no direct reference to Alicia’s assault but it’s about her PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 23:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15059978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovekernel/pseuds/lovekernel
Summary: Alicia finds an excuse for her sleeping on the couch and Bea offers a solution





	Night Terrors

**Author's Note:**

> There isn’t any direct reference to to Alicia’s assault but this is dealing with her PTSD after being assaulted, e.g nightmares of Eddie watching her, but it may be triggering so just be aware of that before you read. Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

Bea yawned. “I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight,” Alicia said. “I’ll be up in a minute.”

They had been sitting at the kitchen table, talking about the day’s events over a cup of tea.

Bea stood up and put her cup in the sink and ran the tap for a moment before leaving the kitchen. She stopped at the doorway and turned around. “You’re not going to sleep on the couch again, are you?”

“No.”

Bea just stared at her, making it obvious she knew Alicia was lying.

Alicia sighed. She came up with an excuse that Bea might believe, she just didn’t want to actually use it.

“I...” she started.

Bea leaned against the doorframe, ready to listen.

“I’ve um,” Alicia said, “I’ve been having nightmares.” It was a half-truth. She just wasn’t ready to tell Bea what she dreamt about.

Bea tilted her head to one side, giving her full attention.

“Or night terrors, I guess. Sometimes I see things in my room and I just... can’t sleep in there anymore. I know it’s silly, I know it’s not real-

“No, no!” Bea interrupted her. “I get it. You’re scared. You don’t have to excuse it.”

“Thanks,” Alicia said. “I’d just rather sleep down here until they stop.”

Bea looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “What do you think’s causing it?”

“I don’t know, stress from work I guess.” Bit of an understatement.

“That probably won’t stop anytime soon,” Bea said. “Do you think there’s anything else that could help? You can talk to me-“

“Actually Bea, I’d rather not get into it,” Alicia said curtly. “Thank you though,” she said then, hoping the edge fell off her words.

Bea nodded and looked away, silent for a moment. She looked back at Alicia. “You’re going to wreck your back, you know.”

“Yeah, well, what else can I do?”

Bea shrugged her shoulders. “You could... sleep in my room?”

Alicia didn’t say anything for a second. “You serious?”

“Yeah, it’s a double bed.”

Alicia looked uneasy.

Bea smiled softly. “What are housemates for, eh?”

“Think that goes beyond the call of duty, Bea.”

“So does a mentor letting her mentee move in with her to get a break from her alcoholic father, Alicia,” Bea said with a smirk, crossing her arms.

Alicia sighed but she smiled. “It’s not the same, I was already desperate for someone to live with.”

“Well, I’m pretty desperate right now for a housemate slash mentor who isn’t irritable and sleep-deprived!” Bea meant it as a joke, but it came out sounding more serious. Alicia’s moods lately were driving a wedge between them.

Alicia looked down at the floor, feeling a bit guilty.

“Come on,” Bea said. “You’d be doing me a favour.”

Alicia knew that wasn’t true, but Bea was so eager to do anything that might help.   
It might work too, the few nights Alicia felt brave enough to sleep in her own room, mostly just to prove to herself that Eddie couldn’t keep her from living her life the way she used to, the only thing that let her fall asleep was the knowledge that Bea was sleeping in the next room. Unlikely as it was that Eddie could somehow enter the house, her recurring nightmare was that he was in her bed, watching her.   
It was an irrational fear, Alicia knew, but knowing there was someone else to hear foreign footsteps through the house, and a witness should anything happen, made her feel a hundred times safer, even if she still couldn’t sleep the whole night.

“Okay,” she decided.

Bea looked surprised. “Really?”

Alicia nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it would help. Just tonight though.”

“Yeah, sure! We can figure something out tomorrow... maybe switch rooms? I don’t know if that would help.”

Alicia shook her head. “I don’t know either, but whatever. We’ll figure it out.”

“Okay,” Bea said. “See you upstairs then.” She gave Alicia a smile before she turned and walked down the hall and up the stairs.

Alicia stayed downstairs for another 10 minutes or so, finishing her tea.

She washed her mug out and went upstairs, passing Bea’s room and going to her own to quickly find some pyjamas. She went to the bathroom to change and wash her face and brush her teeth.

She came back to Bea’s bedroom where the door was open, and found Bea standing in her pyjamas, folding her scrubs and putting them in her bag for the next day. Alicia knocked on the doorframe and Bea looked up.

“Come on in!” Bea said and Alicia did, closing the door behind her. She looked around. Bea’s room was still quite bare, even though she had been living there for a few weeks. She only took a few things with her when she left her dad’s house, and only went back once to get clothes and the essentials. Bea hadn’t actually talked about it much since she broke down that day when Alicia offered the room, but Alicia knew the guilt over leaving her dad was weighing on her, and it made Alicia feel so much worse for being such a mess when this house was supposed to be a sanctuary.

“Now, do you have a side of the bed?” Bea asked, interrupting Alicia’s thoughts.

“Right, I suppose. How about you?”

“Left!” said Bea, taking her hair out of the ponytail she kept it in all day. “That worked out well.”

Alicia chuckled and sat down on the right side of the bed. “Yeah, it did.”

Bea sat down on the other side and brushed her hair out.

“This is weird,” Alicia said.

“If it helps, I did just change the sheets,” Bea said, putting her brush down on the bedside table and getting under the covers.

“It’s not that, it’s just... weird,” Alicia said, following Bea’s actions.

“Sure look, if it gets you a good nights rest, the weirdness is worth it, right?” Bea snuggled down under the duvet and looked up at Alicia, who was still sitting up.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Alicia said.

Bea turned on her side towards Alicia. “You can stay up for as long as you want, but I really have to sleep now, I’m sorry.” Her eyes were already half-closed, gazing up at Alicia.

“It’s fine,” Alicia replied, sliding down into the bed. “You can turn the light off.”

Bea nodded and turned over, switching the lamp off on her bedside table and leaving them in darkness.

Alicia settled herself on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She pulled the covers up to her eyes. The sheets smelled like Bea and it was comforting. It felt so far from her own bed. Falling asleep here didn’t seem so daunting.

Other worries started to build up in Alicia’s head. Night terrors didn’t really explain all of her behaviour. Tomorrow Bea would probably want to get into what was causing them. Eventually the truth was going to come out. A part of Alicia thought Bea already knew what was going on. She was good at putting the pieces together but Alicia knew she would be careful about making assumptions. Alicia was going to have to say it out loud.

These thoughts went around Alicia’s head until soon she fell asleep, still more easily than she had in weeks. It didn’t last long though. She dreamt that she was in her own bed, stuck to the mattress, unable to leave. Eddie was there in the bed beside her, watching her struggle to get up.

Alicia woke with a sharp intake of breath. She lifted her head off the pillow, to make sure she still could, and took deep breaths to calm herself and try and slow down her pounding heart. She turned her head, still expecting to see Eddie, but found Bea instead.

She was still fast asleep, her pale face totally relaxed and her eyes closed. She was turned to Alicia with her head rested on her arm under her pillow. Her fringe, which always looked perfect when she was awake, was mussed up and strewn about her forehead.

Seeing Bea sleep so soundly calmed Alicia right down. There was nothing here to be afraid of. Everything was okay.

Alicia turned on her side towards Bea and closed her eyes. She listened to Bea’s soft measured breaths, and tried to match them to her own. In and out. Alicia was slowly lulled to sleep.

She was woken by the loudest alarm she had ever heard.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” came Bea’s thick voice from the other side of the bed. The alarm stopped and Alicia opened her eyes to Bea sitting up, squinting down at the old-fashioned alarm clock in her hands. “Sorry, I know how loud it is, I can be a really deep sleeper. I set it yesterday morning before I knew I’d be sharing the bed.”

Alicia chuckled. “It’s fine.”

Bea sat on the edge of the bed. “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” Alicia said. “Better than I have in ages,” she added despite herself.

“Great!” Bea replied, standing up and stretching her arms. “Maybe we should switch rooms.”

“Hmm,” Alicia said, knowing the change had more to do with Bea’s presence than her bedroom. “You take the first shower. I’m really comfortable,” she said, feeling her eyes start to close.

“Don’t get too comfortable or you’ll be late!” Bea called behind her as she walked out with her towel.

“Okay!” Alicia shouted after her, turning onto her back.

She didn’t know how she was going to explain herself, or how she was going to sleep that night without Bea, but Alicia knew right at the second that she felt safe.


End file.
